


I Prefer Grande

by ZankieForLifeBaby



Series: The View from the Other Side [2]
Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZankieForLifeBaby/pseuds/ZankieForLifeBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He has said, since he left the house, that there was definitely some sort of attraction, even if he couldn’t put his finger on it. I feel like it’s been so overwhelming for him since he reconnected with the real world. I can’t imagine what that must be like for him." - Frankie J. Grande (10/2/14)</p><p>"I think the whole Big Brother audience was rooting for a beautifully warm, wonderful, and accepting relationship between a gay man and…Zach. Undefined. No one should be defined in my opinion. Everyone should be able to be who they want to be." - Joan Grande (10/2/14)</p><p>"@ranceypants on my way to you...[smiling face emoji]" - Frankie J. Grande (10/5/14)</p><p>"I don’t see Frankie’s sexual orientation at all—it doesn’t define him. He’s a great person. He’s a great human being. He’s extremely smart, he’s extremely funny, and to me that’s all that matters. He’s a very kind person. I just want that to go on record—sexual orientation doesn’t matter, and the whole world needs to move on. That’s just what we need to do." - Zachary Rance (10/7/14)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames  
> You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain  
> Got a long list, 'Starbucks lovers' they'll tell you I'm insane  
> 'Cause you know I love the players and you love the game
> 
> 'Cause we're young and we're reckless, we'll take this way too far  
> It'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar  
> Got a long list, 'Starbucks lovers' they'll tell you I'm insane  
> But I've got a blank space, baby and I'll write your name
> 
> ;-) For the record, I know the real lyrics

Zach giggled as he made his way out the double doors. There was a college-aged girl who was sitting on the couch in the lobby, talking furiously on her phone. She stopped to give him a funny look as he passed. Zach didn't care. He got outside, the warm, humid air smacking him in the face. Damn, he'd forgotten how humid it got in Florida. He was still adjusting. Los Angeles had been hot, but it was marginally more comfortable with the drier air. It was dark out. There were no stars to be seen over the bright lights of Miami. He was practically in the center of the city. Erik's apartment sat just across from the water with a beautiful view. 

Zach looked up to see the yellow and black car he'd been waiting for sitting in the circular drive. There he was—Frankie James Michael Grande Marchione. Zach had only been thinking about this moment constantly for the last week. He smiled brightly when Frankie turned to look at him. Zach felt his stomach flip when Frankie smiled back at him, the sparkle in his eyes even brighter than Zach remembered. Zach walked as fast as he could to the car door, trying not to look like he was running. He slid into the passenger seat in an instant.

Once he was inside, Zach leaned across the console, pulling Frankie into a hug. Zach couldn't wait another second to kiss Frankie. He brought his lips to Frankie's, slowly melding them together. This, Zach thought, this was heaven.

Frankie broke the kiss after a few minutes, catching his breath and smiling at Zach. He reached out, running his fingers through Zach's hair, messing it up just a little bit. With the look on Zach's face, Frankie thought he was going to complain about it, but Zach surprised him, just reaching out to grab Frankie by the shirt, kissing him again.

The kiss was slow and passionate. Zach deepened the kiss quickly, wanting to taste Frankie on his tongue. Frankie's hand dropped behind Zach's neck, trying to pull Zach closer to him. Frankie sighed when the kiss was over, leaning back in his seat and looking sideways at Zach who had his eyes closed. Zach's swollen lips looked like an invitation to Frankie and he almost went in for another kiss, but Zach spoke before he could.

"I love you so fucking much," Zach murmured, "I've been waiting to kiss you again—like that—since finale night. God, that felt amazing."

Frankie smiled at Zach. "Thanks baby. It was pretty great for me too," he said with a wink. "And you know I love you—more than anything," he added, leaning over to give Zach a quick peck. 

Frankie looked over at Zach and frowned slightly, “Where’s your stuff? Don’t you have a bag?”

“Fuck! I knew I forgot something. I left in such a hurry,” Zach explained.

“What do you mean? You knew I was coming down here an hour ago,” Frankie questioned.

“I lost track of time,” Zach tried, shrugging his shoulders at the lame excuse. 

Frankie laughed. “Also known as—you’re drunk,” Frankie retorted, “Go upstairs and get your bag.”

“No. I don’t want to go back up there. It’s just a change of clothes. I’ll be fine. Just drive baby. Take me away,” Zach added dramatically tossing his arms open. Frankie couldn’t help but giggle at the display. He was so cute when he was tipsy—too cute.

“Did you at least tell someone you were leaving with me? You shouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, or they might think something bad happened to you,” Frankie worried.

“Yeah, yeah, I told Erik. He’s cool. You worry too much,” Zach explained, “Now, can we go? Please!” Zach pulled out his puppy dog eyes, looking at Frankie sweetly.

“You are something else, my love,” Frankie laughed as he put the car in drive. Zach grabbed Frankie's hand as they pulled out of the driveway, heading for the surface streets. Zach leaned back, closing his eyes for a minute. It had been a long night.

Frankie drove silently for a couple of minutes, remembering the call he’d gotten from Zach just over an hour ago. Frankie had been in bed, wanting to get some sleep before his drive to Miami the next morning. The original plan had been for Frankie to pick Zach up in the morning. They would hang out for a bit before he drove Zach home. Zach had to be back in Palm Beach Gardens for a family party tomorrow afternoon. Frankie was also going to attend this party with his friends, Paul and Lauren, who were flying in tomorrow.

Zach had been more than a little tipsy when he’d called Frankie earlier tonight. Zach had been slurring some of his words and not fully making sense. Frankie tried to tell him to go to bed and that he’d see him in the morning, but then Zach had uttered the magic words—‘I need you’—and Frankie was on his feet at once. Frankie decided he didn’t really mind. He supposed he’d actually get to sleep in now instead of getting up early. Either way, he was driving to Miami and back. That had always been part of the plan. If that plan now included an overnight with Zach, Frankie wouldn’t complain one bit. Frankie squeezed Zach's hand, looking over at him, his head leaning against the window, watching as the road passed by. "So...you didn't like the party?" Frankie asked.

Zach had been at Erik's for a party. It had been planned forever ago, so Zach had to attend even though he had known it was going to be horrible. He had known that a few of his friends would be attending, but everyone else was basically just casual acquaintances that he didn't really care about. He had suspected that Frankie was probably asleep, but Zach couldn’t stay in that apartment any longer, so he'd called Frankie. They'd already been texting all day. Zach had been pretty sure that Frankie would come get him, but he had still been relieved when Frankie had agreed. Zach wanted nothing more than to curl up next to Frankie as he fell asleep—just like it used to be—like it was supposed to be.

Zach scowled out the window when he thought about the party. Frankie noticed and squeezed his hand again, waiting patiently for Zach's response. "It sucked. They all want something from me,” Zach recounted bitterly before he launched into a series of imitations, “‘Shout out my band on twitter.’ ‘Take a picture with me so I can post it on instagram.’ ‘You don’t follow my twitter. Follow me.’ ‘Help me get more followers.’”

Frankie was quiet for a minute, waiting for Zach to take a few deep breaths. “I hate it. Why are they all like that?" Zach muttered.

Frankie reached out to play with Zach's hair again. Zach made it easier for him, leaning away from the window and into Frankie's touch. It was soothing. Everything about Frankie was soothing—from his bright pink hair to his warm brown eyes. The thing he’d missed most though, was the purposeful way Frankie would touch him and somehow take all of his fears and worries away. Zach wasn't sure how he'd survived without him for ten days.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry that happened. They're not all bad though, right? I'm sure some of your friends are good people. This just happens with celebrity. You have a touch of fame now. People are going to want to feel that, to use it. It's a process. You'll figure out who your real friends are. I know that’s not very helpful, but you’ll figure it out. Everyone has to figure it out for themselves, but I’m always here to listen to anything you need to say. I'm sorry you have to deal with this though," Frankie sympathized.

"Having you here makes it so much easier," Zach whispered, glancing sideways to catch the smirk on Frankie's face. Zach leaned over, planting a quick kiss against Frankie's bare shoulder. Frankie was wearing one of his tanks and a pair of his impossibly tiny shorts. Zach was pretty sure there was nothing sexier on the planet than Frankie Grande. He let his eyes take in Frankie for a bit too long when he caught Frankie smiling knowingly at him. Frankie winked playfully and Zach blushed a little.

Frankie continued to run his fingers through Zach's hair, listening to the music playing in the background as he flew down the interstate. Driving safely might not have been one of Frankie's strong points, but he sure did love to drive. "You must have had some fun at the party. I mean, you did stay there for hours before you called me," Frankie probed.

"Yeah, I mean, I got to see some people I haven't seen in a while. Erik and Logan are really great guys. I mean, they both have faults, but they care. They cared enough to set this up and I appreciate that. A few of my other college buddies who actually aren't total douchebags were there too, like Bretty and Steven. I mentioned them to you, right? They’re cool guys," Zach explained.

Frankie nodded encouragingly at Zach. "What else happened? Did any smokebombs hit on you?" Frankie joked.

Zach sat up suddenly. Frankie thought Zach seemed excited and he must have been right because Zach had a huge grin on his face like he had this juicy piece of news that he couldn't wait to share. "Actually, there was this one girl," Zach started, noticing when Frankie rolled his eyes at that. "No, wait, she didn't hit on me or anything," Zach continued, "Actually, it's really cool because she's friends with Lexie. You know, Ari's best friend."

Frankie laughed a little, rolling his eyes at Zach again. "Babe, I know who Lexie is," Frankie quipped.

Zach smirked at Frankie's sarcastic response. "Anyways, as I was saying, she is friends with Lexie. In fact, she was Lexie's roommate during freshman year at UF. Isn't that cool? What a small world. I met her when I was a senior. She was this cute new freshman girl who started hanging out with me and my bros. I'd forgotten that she knew Lexie even though she told me that once, but it was over two years ago," Zach finished, his eyes excited at the news.

"That's really neat, babe. So you had fun talking to her then? What did you two talk about?" Frankie questioned.

"Yeah, she was really nice. We didn't really talk that long. I mean, I don't really know Lexie that well, but the coincidence is cool," Zach answered.

"You asked her about me, didn't you?" Frankie teased, "I know you Zach. You don't get that excited about a coincidence. What did she tell you? What is this girl’s name? Maybe I remember her."

Zach blushed again. "Frankie, stop. Quit trying to embarrass me. We had a nice time talking about Lexie, UF, and a couple other things. She said she's never even met you in person. Her name is Ashley, but she goes by Ash," Zach concluded.

"Okay, I'll let it go...but I got you to admit that you asked if she knew me," Frankie said, a triumphant smile on his face. 

"It's not fair. You like captivate me or something, and then I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I can't lie to you. I can't hide anything from you. This is the worst," Zach grumbled.

"Aw, it's only because you love me," Frankie said, taking Zach's hand in his again and kissing the back of it. Frankie smiled at Zach, rubbing his thumb against the back of Zach’s hand.

"That's true, I do. I love you. I'm so happy that you're in Florida for like a week. I want to spend so much time with you. And I can't wait for Disney!" Zach exclaimed. Normally, Zach wasn't a big Disney World fan, but with Frankie by his side, Zach was downright chipper about a Disney trip.

"Oh, yeah? I thought it was a totally platonic, nonsexual and nonromantic vacation, or however you put it," Frankie taunted, a glimmer of mischief in his eye.

"Fraaankiiieee," Zach whined, "We talked about this. I'm sorry. I was caught off guard. I didn't mean to tell them about the vacation at all. They just kept pushing for information and it slipped out. These interviews my mom keeps setting up suck. I want to do an interview with nice people."

Frankie smiled at Zach, squeezing his hand again. "It's okay baby. I understand. It's hard. You're in a tough spot. Oh, speaking of nice reporters, I have everything squared away for your interview with OUT. Are you sure you want to do this. You don’t have to, you know?” Frankie asked.

“No. I want to. It’s a major publication and they want to talk to me. Of course, I want to do it. It’ll be so much easier with you by my side too. I still don’t really understand why everyone is so fascinated with me. It seems like literally everyone is questioning my sexuality. I don’t really know what to say, but with you there, I’m sure I can figure out what to say—or at least I won’t fuck it up for once,” Zach reasoned, smiling sheepishly at Frankie.

There it was, Frankie thought, the roundabout answer. This is how Zach always talked when things got too real. Frankie tried not to focus on it. He didn’t want to ruin their nice drive together, so he moved on to the next question he was dying to ask. “Has your mom come around yet? Has she mentioned me yet?" Frankie asked.

Zach had tried to talk to his mom about Frankie when they were still in LA for him to film his guest spot on 'The Bold & the Beautiful' but it hadn't gone very well. In fact, it hadn't gone at all. Jill had changed the topic of conversation as soon as Zach said Frankie's name. Zach knew she wasn't stupid. She'd seen them interact on finale night. She saw their goodbye—granted it was from a distance—but it was about as intimate as a goodbye between lovers could get, minus the kiss. Zach thought it was insanely obvious that he was in love with Frankie. He didn’t want to have to spell it out for her, but her avoidance of the topic was making it look like he might have to.

"Not really. She got angry when I told the reporter that I was going to Disney with you, but other than that it's been radio silence on the Frankie front," Zach lamented, "I don't know what to do. Forcing her to have the conversation won't make it any better."

Frankie nodded at Zach. "You're right. We'll just ride it out, okay baby? It'll be okay. I love you," Frankie reassured Zach.

"I love you too Frankie," Zach whispered, squeezing Frankie's hand. Zach smiled as he looked out the window, watching as the night stretched out in front of them. There were only a few other cars on the road, headlights occasionally passing by in the opposite direction. The gas stations were empty too, not even a car pulled up to the pumps. Zach glanced at the clock; it was half past three am. Zach hadn’t realized it was that late. He felt bad for having Frankie drive so late, but he was immensely grateful that Frankie cared enough to make that drive for him. Zach didn’t know how he’d gotten lucky enough to find Frankie.

Frankie couldn’t help but think about Zach’s predicament. Of course he told Zach everything would be okay. He sincerely hoped that would be the case, but he couldn’t really promise that. He had no idea how things were going to play out. He wanted to have a long conversation with Zach. He wanted to put everything out on the table. They’d spent a lot of time texting over the last two weeks, but no decisions had really been made. Frankie was craving that clarity. He didn’t need Zach to clarify for anyone else, but Frankie needed it for himself.

Frankie wanted to ask Zach if they could talk, but he didn’t want to scare him away either. Zach had gotten a little skittish every time Frankie had mentioned having ‘the talk’. Frankie could sense it even when he was texting with Zach. Zach would immediately start avoiding the subject and start to send him long messages about golf or something equally as exciting.

“Hey baby…” Frankie started. Zach turned to look at him. Frankie took a deep breath and said, “So, do you think that maybe we could have that talk. You know, sometime soon. Maybe tonight? But at least before my time in Florida is up. What do you think?”

Zach sighed, nodding his head at Frankie. He knew this would be coming. He and Frankie had only danced around the topic everyday for a week. Zach knew he wasn’t being fair, putting Frankie off continuously. The truth was that he wasn’t sure what to say to Frankie. He knew how he felt, but he didn’t know how to put it into words. He was no good at words. He did much better with silence. He didn’t want to destroy what they had with words. When Zach was with Frankie, he never felt more alive and free. He could do anything he wanted with Frankie by his side. He wasn’t sure what it was about Frankie that gave him so much courage, but he knew that it wilted away the second Frankie was gone. It was becoming a problem.

“Later. Not tonight. Please. I just want to make up for lost time. I’ve been thinking about you for so long and now you’re finally here. I just want to be with you,” Zach murmured, watching for Frankie’s reaction.

Frankie turned to smile at Zach. He nodded once and continued driving. Zach sighed a deep breath of relief and turned his attention out the window again.

Zach noticed the mileage sign on the side of the highway. They were only ten miles from Boca now. Zach was getting excited. He was still a little tipsy, but he was sure that he would be okay. His mind started to wander to the night ahead. He wanted to rip Frankie’s clothes off. He’d already been teased with a reappearance of the ‘Team Zach’ shirt during Frankie’s appearance on ‘The Talk’. Plus, there was a number of sexy selfies that Frankie kept sending him. Zach found he was getting a little lost in the fantasy in his own head as he reached down to readjust his pants.

Frankie noticed Zach squirming in his seat. Frankie dropped his hand to Zach’s thigh, squeezing lightly. Zach groaned loudly, his head pressed against the back of his seat. He’d been thinking about Frankie touching him again for almost two weeks. Now that he was here and just inches away from him, Zach was overwhelmed. He wanted Frankie. He wanted him now. Zach moved quickly, turning sideways and kissing Frankie’s neck, nipping lightly at one spot before he heard Frankie laughing. Frankie was taken slightly aback by Zach’s ferocity. Clearly, he’d underestimated Zach’s pent up sexual frustration.

“Down tiger,” Frankie ordered, “Don’t make me get in a wreck. Let’s get you to my place in one piece and then we can play.” Frankie practically purred the word play and Zach was about to lose his mind. 

Zach stayed still for a minute, contemplating his next move. He couldn’t wait any longer. He turned back to Frankie, careful not to obstruct his view or distract his gaze from the road as he slowly moved his hand up Frankie’s thigh. Frankie didn’t react at first. Then, Zach ran his fingers under the cotton fabric of the shorts that were covering Frankie’s thighs. Zach smiled triumphantly when he heard a sharp intake of breath from Frankie. 

Frankie dropped his hand, grabbing Zach’s, stopping the torturous movement of Zach’s fingers on his bare flesh. He knew Zach was getting ever closer to his target and Frankie wanted to get Zach home first. It’s not that Frankie wasn’t into it. He was. He was too into it. It wasn’t right. Zach shouldn’t be able to turn him on this much by doing practically nothing. Yet, here he was, doing exactly that. Frankie let out a deep breath, moving Zach’s hand back into his own space.

“Do you want to be my good boy?” Frankie asked. Zach could practically hear the seduction dripping off of each syllable and he was so into it. He would do anything for Frankie.

Zach nodded enthusiastically before finally answering, “Yes.”

“Good. Now I need you to sit patiently and wait while I get us safely back to my house. Okay? If you can do that, I promise to reward you. How does that sound baby?” Frankie enticed, his eyes quickly grazing down Zach’s body before they turned back to the road. Frankie’s voice sounded like sex and Zach could barely handle it. Zach groaned softly, shifting in his seat and trying to keep himself together.

“Okay, but hurry” Zach agreed, adjusting himself through his pants again. He caught a glimpse of another mileage sign indicating they had five more miles to Boca. Zach had never been to Frankie’s house. He had no idea how much longer it would take once they pulled off the highway, but he knew it would be too long. He was ready now. Zach tried to think about other things, but he was failing miserably. All he could imagine was Frankie’s tight body and how badly he wanted to touch it.

Frankie turned the music up as he pulled off the highway, winding his way through surface streets until he turned into a neighborhood. Zach knew they must be close; the neighborhood was beautiful, with large houses and lots of privacy fences. Zach squirmed in his seat again, imagining Frankie’s lips on his skin again, leaving a hot trail all over his body. Zach reached to adjust himself again, but Frankie caught his arm this time, smiling wickedly. “Wait, we’re almost there,” Frankie ordered. Zach obeyed, his eyes widening as Frankie turned into the driveway of a huge house. Frankie put the car in park, admiring the awed look on Zach's face as he took in the house. This was the reaction Frankie was hoping for. He loved to impress. Zach moved to touch Frankie, but he shook his head and got out of the car. Zach followed as fast as he could, trying to seem patient as he waited for Frankie to unlock the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All you gotta do is say yes  
> Don't deny what you feel let me undress you baby  
> Open up your mind and just rest  
> I'm about to let you know you make me so  
> All you gotta do is say yes

Frankie finally got the door unlocked after a few seconds that felt like an eternity to Zach. Zach was already too hard, feeling constrained by his pants. He’d spent the last few minutes fantasizing about Frankie and he couldn’t really take anymore. Just being in Frankie’s presence made him incredibly horny. Frankie opened the door, leaning inside to hold it open for Zach to walk through. Zach reached out to pat Frankie’s ass as he walked inside, Frankie following close behind him and returning the love tap.

Frankie shut and locked the door, turning around with his arms splayed. “And this is the glamorous household of the Grande family in Boca Raton, Florida. Residents include Frankie, Ari, and Joan…with the occasional visit from Nonna. Here is the entry, complete with family photos and, of course, the most important asset, me!” Frankie said in a stuffy British accent, finishing with his hand up in the air for a flourish. Zach smiled at him. It was amusing, for sure, but Zach couldn’t really think about that right now. All he noticed was the way Frankie’s tight shorts perfectly outlined his dick.

Zach laughed a little, approaching Frankie and pulling him into a quick hug, his hands quickly dropping to Frankie’s ass again. “Am I going to get the MTV ‘Cribs’ tour…you know, the room where the magic happens?” Zach joked.

Frankie smirked. “MTV ‘Cribs’? Come on babe! That was a great Robin Leach impression…we need to work on your pop culture knowledge! Champagne wishes and caviar dreams, my love,” Frankie exclaimed.

Zach just laughed, no longer wanting to use his words as he pulled Frankie closer, dropping his lips to Frankie’s neck, planting open mouthed kisses in a line down from Frankie’s ear. Frankie sighed at the feeling despite himself, then he remembered he’d told Zach he had to wait. Frankie carefully extracted himself from Zach who gave him a face reminiscent of a hurt puppy. “Don’t you want to be my good boy? I’ll give you such a nice reward. Make you feel things you’ve never felt,” Frankie promised, his eyes dilated and his face predatory.

Zach could feel himself shiver in response. He wanted that. It sounded amazing, but he also needed Frankie now. He wasn’t sure how he was going to reconcile the two conflicting desires. “Why are we waiting?” Zach almost whined as he stepped closer to Frankie again, tugging on the hem of Frankie’s tank top. Frankie only smiled at him before pulling Zach by the hand as they made their way through the house.

Zach definitely noticed how impressive the house was. It was huge with beautiful furniture and large windows that faced what appeared to be a patio with a pool in the backyard. It was dark, but Zach was pretty sure he noticed a cabana too. Frankie pulled Zach into his room. Zach stopped in the center, gazing briefly at the dark blue walls and carpet. His eyes zeroed in on a bookshelf, noticing the many pictures Frankie had displayed there.

Zach’s eyes widened slightly when his eyes fell on a framed black and white picture, proudly displayed at the front of one of the shelves. Zach was a little surprised to see his own face staring back at him, the smile wide and genuine, his arms tightly around Frankie’s shoulders. Of course, he’d seen this picture before. Ari had taken it less than two weeks ago. Zach’s mind raced with the implications. Frankie had gotten this picture printed and he’d framed it in the time he was gone…then he’d brought it with him to Florida and put it in his childhood room. Zach was a little overcome with the emotions these thoughts brought. It was incredibly sweet. Zach felt important—more than that, he felt loved in a way he didn’t remember feeling in a long time. Zach loved it. He wanted one too.

Frankie noticed how Zach had stopped at the bookcase, staring at what could only be the picture of them. Frankie walked up behind Zach after a minute, wrapping his arms around Zach’s middle and pressing his cheek against the middle of Zach’s upper back. Zach’s hands dropped to rest on Frankie’s, but he didn’t turn around, continuing to look at the picture. Frankie lifted his head after a moment, rising to his tiptoes so he could rest his chin on Zach’s shoulder. “I love you, ya know?” Frankie asked.

Zach nodded, finally turning away from the picture and facing Frankie. “I love you too. I can’t believe you already have a picture of us up in your room. You’re amazing. I love it. I love you. I love you so much,” Zach reiterated, unable to find more appropriate words. He dropped his face towards Frankie, kissing him softly at first and slowly building the passion as their lips worked together.

It was Frankie who broke the kiss, pulling Zach by the hand over to his bed. Frankie sat on the edge and Zach sat next to him, his hand falling to Frankie’s thigh and squeezing lightly. He was suddenly slightly nervous. It’s not that he didn’t want Frankie. He wanted Frankie desperately, but all of the emotions he was feeling were making him anxious. He still didn’t want to talk about it and he could tell from the serious look on Frankie’s face that he did. Zach wasn’t sure how to get out of this impending emotional exploration.

“Zach,” Frankie started. Zach didn’t answer or wait for Frankie to say more, instead he leaned over, kissing Frankie’s neck again. His teeth grazed along a sensitive spot and he heard Frankie’s quick intake of breath. Zach was encouraged as he moved closer to Frankie, wanting to pin him down on the bed below him, but Frankie pulled away again.

Zach sighed as Frankie appraised him. “We need to talk,” Frankie insisted. His face betrayed his desire though. Zach saw how Frankie glanced down at Zach’s pants, noticing how hard Zach was. Frankie’s arms were crossed, but not that sternly. Zach’s buzz was wearing off. He was better at reading Frankie now and he was pretty certain he could still win this battle, so he tried again, this time forcefully straddling Frankie and attaching their lips. Zach grabbed at the hair on the back of Frankie’s head, deepening the kiss. Zach rocked his hips into Frankie’s, being more aggressive than he’d been before.

Frankie moaned despite himself. He wanted to get some things cleared up. He needed that, but Zach obviously wasn’t ready. Also clear, Zach still wanted Frankie. Nothing had changed on that front. Frankie gave up the fight surprisingly quickly, giving in to the kiss and taking what he was being offered now. He didn’t want to scare Zach away on the first night. They had over a week, plus a nice vacation where they’d be alone plenty. Frankie had booked two rooms—one for Lauren and Paul plus a separate one for him and Zach.

Zach could feel Frankie giving in as the kiss turned more passionate, Frankie’s hands gripping Zach’s hips tightly. Zach broke the kiss after a few minutes, his face triumphant. Frankie rolled his eyes at Zach. “Lay down,” Frankie ordered. Zach obeyed, lying flat on his back in the middle of Frankie’s bed.

Frankie climbed on top of Zach, his eyes now lustful as he gazed at the man below him. Zach really was beautiful. Frankie moved his knees to either side of Zach, resting his ass against Zach’s hard cock. Zach was so easy—seemingly always ready and willing around Frankie. Frankie had noticed it in the house too. Zach got hard when they cuddled, sometimes even when they worked out together. Frankie couldn’t help but find it intriguing and incredibly flattering.

Frankie leaned over Zach, pressing kisses over each of Zach’s collarbones. The top three buttons were already undone, just like Frankie had suggested Zach do for finale night. Frankie planted kisses down the center of Zach’s chest, carefully undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt as he made his way down. Finally, when he had the shirt unbuttoned, Frankie’s lips moved to Zach’s nipples. He sucked and licked at each one in turn, ensuring they were hard before he moved on. Zach made soft whimpering sounds below Frankie, his hips bucking up on occasion. Frankie ignored that, continuing his slowly torturous path on Zach’s chest.

Zach wasn’t even processing full thoughts anymore. He was painfully hard and Frankie’s ass pressing against his cock was not helping in that department. Zach sat up a little bit, helping Frankie slide his shirt off of his shoulders. Zach was disappointed when Frankie was suddenly gone, standing on the other side of the room and carefully hanging Zach’s shirt up. “You only have one,” Frankie reminded him as he returned to the bed, reclaiming his original position. Zach only groaned in response. His mind wasn’t allowing him to form real words at the moment. Before Frankie could resume his slow torture, Zach was tugging on Frankie’s tank top, trying to lift it over his head. Frankie helped Zach get it off, tossing it on the floor next to the bed. Zach sat up in the bed now, grabbing Frankie’s hips and flipping them over. Zach couldn’t handle the slow torture anymore. He was impatient. He felt like he’d been waiting forever for Frankie and slow was not really the way he wanted to go right now.

Frankie laughed lightly at Zach’s power move. Frankie wanted to mind. He liked to be in control, but he found with Zach that he didn’t mind letting him be in charge—at least for a little bit. With Frankie on his back now, Zach kissed along Frankie’s neck, quickly moving downward to Frankie’s nipples. He licked and teased one, while rubbing the other between his fingers. Zach sat up again, gazing down at Frankie, running his fingers over Frankie’s abs. Frankie watched Zach, his face occasionally showing concentration and at other times full of desire. Zach licked his lips before he moved backwards off of Frankie enough that he could undo Frankie’s shorts. The shorts were tight and he had to work them down Frankie’s legs. Frankie lifted his hips off at the beginning to help Zach get started, but otherwise, he didn’t help him. If Zach wanted to do this now and he wanted to be in charge, then he was going to have to work for it.

Zach ran his hands up Frankie’s thighs, feeling the smooth skin below his fingers. He gripped Frankie’s hardening dick through the fabric of his tight briefs. Frankie moaned softly, encouraging Zach to continue. Zach dropped his head, planting kisses on each of Frankie’s abs, as his hand lightly squeezed along Frankie’s dick. Zach kissed down the center of Frankie’s abs, reaching the waistband of his briefs. Zach slid his fingers into the waistband, pulling them down easier than the shorts. Once Frankie’s briefs were tossed aside, Zach licked up the sides of Frankie’s cock, feeling Frankie’s hand tangle in his hair. This was what Zach loved. He loved Frankie’s cock in his mouth and the feeling he got when he knew he was giving Frankie pleasure. The tight squeeze of Frankie’s hand, pulling Zach’s hair, bringing just a little pain was exactly what Zach relished.

Zach took Frankie in his mouth, slowly bobbing his head at first, hearing Frankie’s breathing get louder. Occasionally, Zach could hear Frankie say his name and that felt even better, getting Zach even more turned on than he was before. Here was Frankie, practically a sex god, whining Zach’s name, enjoying Zach’s mouth as he continued to work on Frankie, now sucking and swirling his tongue. Zach pulled off after a few minutes, gazing up at Frankie who has his eyes closed, one hand gripping the sheets, the other in Zach’s hair. Zach moved on top of Frankie, kissing him again. Suddenly, Frankie’s other hand was on Zach’s ass, slowly massaging it. Zach ground his hips down into Frankie in response, breaking the kiss and moving back downward.

“Cum for me,” Zach instructed, looking Frankie in the eye before he took Frankie in his mouth again. It only took a few more minutes before Frankie was pulling hard on Zach’s hair, his hips bucking up into Zach’s face. Zach was relentless, continuing to suck and lick at Frankie until he came down his throat, the word “Zach” echoing in Zach’s mind after Frankie moaned it during his climax. Zach licked Frankie clean, intending to slide himself back up against Frankie and kiss him again.

Frankie had other plans, flipping them over again as soon as Zach’s mouth was off of his cock. Frankie placed his lips by Zach’s ear. “You weren’t a very good boy. You didn’t follow my instruction to wait,” Frankie reprimanded.

“I couldn’t help it,” Zach tried, his hands still trailing along Frankie’s body. Frankie clicked his tongue at him, his lips making a path along Zach’s neck. Frankie stopped to suck one spot, Zach’s back arching slightly at the sensation. Zach was too far-gone and he knew it. If Frankie even touched him for a minute, he was going to explode. He’d been building this up in his head ever since he called Frankie tonight. He wanted to last longer than that, but he knew it was a losing battle.

“I should punish you,” Frankie whispered thoughtfully, but Zach shook his head no, a pleading look in his eyes. 

“I can’t wait. Please don’t make me wait Frankie,” Zach whimpered. He would worry about how embarrassing that sounded later, right now, he knew what he needed and he wasn’t going to be afraid to ask for it.

“You’re too cute. Why do I always give in to you?” Frankie mused, his lips now brushing against Zach’s lips again.

When Frankie pulled away, Zach answered breathlessly, “You love me.”

“No, that’s not it. Well, that’s true…but that’s not why…” Frankie responded, his lips trailing down Zach’s chest and over his abs as his hands expertly undid Zach’s pants. Frankie pulled both Zach’s pants and underwear off at once, exposing Zach’s throbbing erection. Zach was pretty sure he’d never been this hard before. He was already leaking and he felt like he would explode without much effort from Frankie.

“Oh, so pretty for me baby,” Frankie murmured, making Zach blush. Frankie knew why he couldn’t resist Zach, but he wasn’t going to tell him what it was. He loved Zach and that probably played a role in why he couldn’t help himself. Truthfully, he wanted to expose Zach to new things. He had kind of fallen in love with the way Zach had given in to Frankie in the jury house, slowly adjusting to the feel of Frankie’s finger rubbing against his tight rim. It was kind of a revelation for Frankie. He wanted to be the one to teach Zach, to show him new things, to make him feel everything.

Frankie licked the precum from the head of Zach’s cock and Zach practically screamed out Frankie’s name, trying to restrain himself from being too loud. Frankie smiled at him and Zach knew the look. It was devious. Frankie had plans. “It’s okay baby. I want you to be loud. Tell me all about it. No one can hear you. We’re alone…finally,” Frankie murmured. Zach couldn’t form a response; he just tossed his head back, bucking his hips up.

Frankie spread Zach’s legs a little, situating himself between them. He ran his hands up Zach’s thighs, massaging them a little before he bent each of Zach’s knees, putting his feet in the air. Frankie looked up to see a look on Zach’s face that was somewhere between confusion and concern. “Trust me baby, trust me,” Frankie told him, planting a few kisses on the inside of each of Zach’s thighs. Frankie could feel Zach relax and he smiled softly at how pliant Zach was.

Frankie moved so that Zach’s calves were resting on his shoulders, dropping his head down to lick up the side of Zach’s cock. Zach groaned loudly. Zach’s breathing was already ragged. Frankie knew Zach wasn’t going to last long, so he couldn’t really suck Zach off at all, or he’d cum in less than a minute. Frankie instead, planted soft kisses from the head of Zach’s dick, all the way down his shaft and over his balls until he reached Zach’s rim. Frankie rolled Zach up a little more, giving him easier access. Frankie licked in a long stripe down Zach’s crack. Zach seemed to jolt in response, but Frankie continued, placing long licks until he could hear Zach whimpering softly, surrendering to the sensation.

Frankie began to massage Zach’s tight rim with his tongue, slowly kneading the tight muscles. Frankie gripped the base of Zach’s cock at the same time, jerking Zach off while he continued to work on Zach’s rim. Frankie made small circles with the tip of his tongue, hearing a soft mewling sound coming from Zach that was everything Frankie could’ve asked for. He had known Zach would like this, he just had to give it a chance. Frankie quickly stuck his pointer finger in his mouth, ensuring it was slick with his saliva before he pressed the tip to Zach’s rim. Zach tightened again. Frankie licked at Zach a few more times until he was relaxed again. This time, Frankie didn’t give Zach the chance to tighten as he placed his finger and slowly pressed it in. Zach didn’t protest.

It was a new feeling for Zach. He wouldn’t say that he loved it, but he didn’t hate it. Now, Frankie’s tongue—that was another story. He was surprised, but he couldn’t deny that he totally loved that. It was amazing. Zach felt Frankie wiggle his finger around and while it didn’t really hurt, it wasn’t entirely comfortable either. Frankie kept sliding his hand up and down Zach’s dick, keeping Zach engaged and feeling waves of pleasure. Finally, Frankie’s finger brushed past Zach’s prostate and Zach cried out. Frankie looked up to watch Zach’s face as it contorted when Frankie brushed it again. Zach’s breathing was erratic now, his hips bucking and his hands pulling on the sheets. Frankie pulled his finger out, replacing it with his tongue as he licked at the slightly looser muscles, his tongue massaged from the center outward. Frankie pumped his hand faster on Zach’s dick, hearing Zach groan his name loudly as he came.

Frankie didn’t stop. He continued to slowly massage Zach’s rim with his tongue, the muscles now tightening rhythmically as Zach recovered from his orgasm. Frankie continued to move his hand as well, Zach lost in bliss above him. After a minute, Frankie carefully dropped Zach’s legs back to the bed, removing his hand from Zach’s dick and licking his fingers clean of Zach’s cum. Zach watched Frankie, his eyes never leaving Frankie’s.

Frankie hopped off the bed, walking to his adjoining bathroom and grabbing a towel for Zach. “Clean up,” Frankie ordered, walking back to the bathroom. Frankie reemerged a minute later, seeing Zach now under the covers of Frankie’s bed, waiting for him. Frankie was still naked, walking across his room to Zach. He leaned over the bed, putting his face by Zach’s and blowing his minty breath in Zach’s face. Zach couldn’t help but blush, burying his face in the pillow next to him. Frankie slid into the bed, pulling Zach close to him.

Zach’s face was still slightly red. Frankie kissed each of Zach’s cheeks before pressing his lips to Zach’s. Zach deepened the kiss instantly, wanting Frankie to know how much he still wanted him, how much he loved him, and how much he loved what Frankie had just done to him. Zach didn’t want to spell any of that out, but it was true. He was only slightly embarrassed to admit it and that was actually an improvement.

Zach’s face turned an even brighter shade of red when Frankie asked the question anyway. “You liked that. Didn’t you?” Frankie whispered, a smirk on his face. 

Zach started to giggle involuntarily. “Frankie! Stop!” Zach protested, pushing against Frankie’s chest a little, but then pulling him back even closer.

“Say ‘yes’,” Frankie instructed, his face delighted. Zach couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Frankie. The look on Frankie’s face read victorious to Zach. Zach almost couldn’t take it. He didn’t want to give in to Frankie, to give him that win, but he also couldn’t deny that he couldn’t wait for Frankie to do that again. 

“Yes,” Zach stated, trying not to break eye contact with Frankie. He couldn’t help but wonder why this suddenly felt like a game of chicken.

“Good boy,” Frankie purred, pulling Zach closer to him. Zach put his head against Frankie’s chest, letting Frankie rub his back for a change. It felt nice. It felt even better when Frankie praised him. Zach knew this was going to turn into a thing, and he found that he was surprisingly okay with it. Being in Frankie’s arms was comfortable for Zach—more comfortable than he’d expected. They were truly in the real world and Zach felt as comfortable as he ever had. He knew that he belonged next to Frankie. He was insanely happy that he’d gotten a little drunk and dialed Frankie’s number without too much forethought. He was even happier that Frankie had obliged, picking up an inebriated, horny frat dude who was desperate to see his boyfriend. Zach paused at the thought, ‘boyfriend’—is that what Frankie was? Zach hoped so, but didn’t want to voice it—not yet.

Frankie glanced at the clock. It was almost 5 am now. They definitely needed to go to bed. They were both tired anyway. Frankie couldn’t help himself as he reminded Zach, “You know…we still have to talk.”

Zach groaned a little, wrapping his free arm across Frankie’s stomach and holding him tighter. “It’s so late. Tomorrow? Tomorrow we can talk. Okay?” Zach asked, his eyes already closed and his body relaxed against Frankie.

“Okay…tomorrow. But we can’t just keep pushing it off forever. I’m not Scarlett O’Hara, you know?” Frankie quipped.

Zach face scrunched in confusion. “Who is that? Another character?” he asked. 

Frankie laughed lightly. “Oh baby, we have got to work on your pop culture knowledge. I love you, but seriously…it needs work,” Frankie informed him. Frankie leaned down to kiss the top of Zach’s head.

“As long as you teach me, I’ll learn anything you want,” Zach whispered. Zach picked himself up off of Frankie, connecting their lips in a brief kiss before he dropped back to Frankie’s chest. “I love you baby,” Zach added.

“I love you too…you lunatic,” Frankie murmured, closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked that! Let me know.
> 
> More coming soon...Ch3 is the actual day of "starbucks"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions  
> It's my worried mind that you quiet  
> Place your hands on my face  
> Close my eyes and say  
> Love is a poor man's food  
> Don't prophesize  
> I could hold you in my arms  
> I could hold you forever  
> And I could hold you in my arms  
> I could hold you forever

Zach yawned, stretching his legs downward as he woke up to an unusual trilling sound. He opened his eyes and shut them immediately. The sun was peeking over the top of the curtains on Frankie’s bedroom window, bathing the room in sunlight. Now, Zach could make out a faint buzzing sound accompanying the trill. It took a few seconds, but he finally remembered that it was the sound of the alarm on his phone. He hadn’t used the alarm on his phone in almost four months. He hadn’t needed it when he was sleeping at home. That thought jolted him awake: he wasn’t at home. 

Zach could feel Frankie’s warmth beside him, reminding him where he was. He smiled lightly, feeling the comfort of Frankie’s presence. The trilling sound went off again, breaking Zach from his bubble with Frankie. He had places to be today. Zach had forgotten he’d even set his alarm last night. He’d done it while he was still at Erik’s place. He’d received a text from his mother reminding him that the party they were throwing ‘in his honor’ began at three o’clock this afternoon. So, he’d set the alarm before he had too much to drink and forgot.

Zach had no idea where his phone was now, other than obviously in Frankie’s room and already annoying him. When Zach thought about it, he assumed his phone was still in his pants pocket. Zach lifted his head up, listening for the sound again. It sounded like his pants were on the floor to his left. Zach was desperate to turn the alarm off. He’d forgotten how much he hated the sound until now. He started climbing over Frankie, reaching for his phone. He saw his pants just a little ways from the edge of bed. He reached out for them. He was now lying sideways across Frankie, his bare ass in the air. Zach stretched to get a hold of one pant leg and pulled them closer. He grabbed for his pocket and managed to press a button to silence the phone before he pulled it out. 

Frankie was already awake when the alarm went off. He’d been checking his phone, taking in the feeling of waking up with Zach beside him, arm draped over Frankie. It felt natural, maybe he'd even call it blissful. When Zach started climbing over him, Frankie was amused, watching as Zach stretched sideways across his torso with his hands on the ground. Frankie didn’t say anything, watching and laughing internally at the sight of Zach’s bare ass wiggling in the air as he tried to maneuver himself to reach his phone. Frankie heard the alarm stop suddenly. Before Zach could move back, Frankie slapped Zach’s ass playfully. 

“Ow! Frankie!” Zach complained, but he laughed at the end of the statement, ruining the effect of his indignation.

“Yeah, you pretend you didn’t like that,” Frankie said wryly. Zach, phone in his hand, moved back to Frankie’s side, propping himself up on an elbow while he looked through his phone with the other. Frankie closed his eyes again, his fingers gliding over Zach’s skin as he made a pattern from Zach’s upper back to his ear and back down again. Zach’s eyes glossed over the screen, shuffling between a few apps to check his messages before he finally noticed the time. It was five minutes after ten. 

Zach leaned up to kiss Frankie. Frankie smiled at Zach when they broke the kiss. “Are you happy?” Frankie asked. Frankie wasn’t sure what possessed him to ask that question, but he was craving the reassurance. He knew Zach was happy last night, but it was morning now, the harsh light of the day shining on them.

“Of course,” Zach murmured, leaning up to peck Frankie’s lips again. “We have to leave here soon though,” Zach whispered, his eyes not meeting Frankie’s.

“Okay…why are we in such a hurry?” Frankie asked, his brow slightly furrowed at Zach. Zach took a deep breath, remembering how he’d promised his mother that he’d be home with plenty of time today. He’d be in so much trouble if he didn’t get home in time for the party. He would have to get ready at home too. He didn’t have any of his things here at Frankie’s, so the sooner he got home the better, but he didn’t really want to leave Frankie’s bed.

“It’s not that we’re in such a hurry…it’s just that I can’t be late to this party. My mom will kill me,” Zach informed Frankie. 

Frankie nodded, his hand now tugging on Zach’s ear a little and rubbing the cartilage between his fingers. “Okay, but we’re only like an hour from your house—less really. So, we’re fine, right? The party isn’t for a few hours right. You said it started at three?” Frankie confirmed.

Zach leaned into Frankie’s touch, dropping his phone on the bed as he pulled the sheet up a little move, his hand now resting on Frankie’s chest, absentmindedly stroking the bare skin there. “That’s right. Three o’clock. I don’t know how long it’s supposed to last, but it starts at three. You’re still coming, right?” Zach asked, his eyes not quite meeting Frankie’s again. He wanted Frankie to come, he was just afraid of how his mom was going to react. She didn’t know that Frankie was going to come. Zach just wasn’t sure how to tell her. 

“Of course, baby, I wouldn’t miss it,” Frankie assured Zach, kissing Zach’s cheek. “You seem nervous,” Frankie stated. He could tell Zach was tenser this morning. He’d relaxed when Frankie started rubbing his ear, but he could tell something was still off.

“I’m just worried about how my mom is going to react with you in town. I mean, she didn’t exactly take it well when I mentioned going to Disney. I know that she would love you if she’d just get to know you…” Zach trailed off. Frankie’s hand found its way into Zach’s hair now, tugging lightly. Zach gave in, dropping his head to Frankie’s chest again. Frankie kissed the top of Zach’s head, murmuring reassurances that didn’t fully process in Zach’s mind, but they sure sounded beautiful.

“Just tell her we’re friends, okay? You can just continue to tell everyone that we’re best friends. Does that make things easier? It’s still true. I love you and I can wait for that part as long as I know that you love me too,” Frankie said, his hand still playing with Zach’s hair. Frankie said the words, trying to convince himself they were true. He didn’t want to see Zach hurting and Frankie had seen the look in Jill’s eyes on finale night. This wasn’t going to be a quick fix. It was going to take time. There was no point in pushing Zach now. Frankie could be happy with this. His stolen moments with Zach were wonderful and he didn’t want to lose what they had.

“Are you sure? I just…I don’t know,” Zach mumbled. He could feel himself panicking, just a little. He hadn’t thought too much about his mom’s reaction last night—he’d been too inebriated. Now that Frankie was bringing it up again, his mind was racing with implications. He hoped that no one mentioned to her that he left the party early. He knew Erik wouldn’t say anything—or Logan—but he wasn’t sure about the people he didn’t know so well. Hopefully they’d been drinking enough not to really notice. 

Frankie saw the shift in Zach’s eyes; they were alternating between scanning the room and landing on Frankie. He kept glancing at his phone too. Frankie followed Zach’s gaze, landing on the phone for a bit. Zach noticed. Zach had to say something more. “My mom…she doesn’t know that I’m with you right now. She doesn’t know that we even had plans for today,” Zach confessed. He was surprised at how steady he kept his voice. 

“Do you want her to know?” Frankie asked. Zach tried to read Frankie's face. He wanted to figure out what the right answer to that question was, but he couldn’t figure it out. He wondered if maybe there wasn’t a right answer—maybe that was always the case. The world isn’t black and white—there are a million shades of gray.

“Uh…yeah, I do,” Zach decided, going with the truth. “Maybe she shouldn’t know I slept here tonight, but she can know we saw each other…maybe I can make it sound casual. I’m such a bad liar though. She sees through all of my lies, even when she doesn’t want to,” Zach confessed.

Frankie eyes softened. He knew what Zach was implying. It hurt him a little bit to think about it. He loved Zach and he wished he could protect him, but how do you protect someone from their own life? “Tweet a picture from Miami. Here, let me disable the location stuff on your phone. You still have it on,” Frankie instructed. Zach handed him his phone. Frankie’s fingers flew across the screen, changing settings Zach hadn’t even considered. 

“There,” Frankie said, “Now pick a picture to tweet. Better yet, can you get one from someone at the party? Something from right now?”

“Yeah,” Zach answered, “I’m sure Erik will send me something.” Zach texted Erik, asking for a picture of the balcony or something from this morning. Zach dropped his phone on the bed again while he waited, climbing on top of Frankie. He kissed Frankie, this time more slowly and with building passion. Frankie squeezed Zach’s ass, feeling the smooth skin there, thinking about all of the things he couldn’t wait for Zach to experience. 

Zach broke the kiss after a few minutes, sliding off of Frankie and against his side again. “I didn’t properly say ‘good morning’ baby,” Zach offered as an explanation.

“Oh, yeah? I certainly did enjoy my morning view though, Daddy,” Frankie teased, his hand falling to Zach’s ass again. 

Zach’s phone went off. Erik sent him a picture, no questions asked. Zach sighed a quick breath of relief. He knew Erik would do it, he was just happy not to have to answer any questions. Zach crafted a tweet, showing it to Frankie before he posted it. 

“Looks good love. Post it,” Frankie affirmed. Zach posted it and put his phone on the far edge of the bed, curling himself against Frankie. “So, what do I do?” Zach asked. He wasn’t entirely sure what exactly he meant. He supposed he actually meant it as a pretty general question. Frankie was experienced. He was an out gay man. Zach hoped he could guide him, give him pointers or at least tell him what to do so he wouldn’t seem like a total idiot.

Frankie didn’t know what to say. Sure, he could make suggestions. Frankie liked to believe that he always had it together, but he knew that wasn’t true. Even worse, he knew that Zach was a mess. Zach had been a mess from the moment he met him, but that didn’t change how he felt about him. Frankie liked the mess. It was kind of exciting. Besides that, he could see Zach’s potential.

“I don’t…um, what do you mean?” Frankie asked, hoping for clarification.

“Just in general,” Zach said, regretting how helpless it sounded. He wanted to be strong, but he wasn’t as strong as he wanted to be. Being at home had been hard. He wanted to just be with Frankie, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t leave his family—especially Peyton. He couldn’t let Frankie just take care of him. He wanted to make something of himself in his own right. 

“Well, let’s take it day by day,” Frankie reasoned. Zach nodded in response, looking at Frankie to continue. “So, today, I’ll deliver you safe and sound to your home and then I will come to your party and you can meet Lauren and Paul. They’ll love you. My friends already love you. They were already in love with you on the show. Then tomorrow is OUT. The reporter’s name is Brandon Schultz. He’ll call you around lunchtime. Okay?” Frankie said, ticking off all of the major events of the next two days.

“Right, but how do I act?” Zach wondered. Frankie slid his arm around Zach’s waist, twisting his body so that he was on his side too, facing Zach. Zach smiled at him, his eyes a little shy. Frankie smiled back, a large grin. It was genuine and happy. Zach was here with him, right now. This might be a difficult conversation, but Zach was here and Frankie knew without a doubt that Zach loved him.

Frankie used his free hand to grab Zach’s, entwining their fingers instantly. Zach looked down at their hands before returning to Frankie’s gaze again. Now Zach’s eyes were determined, almost defiant. Frankie loved it. It was almost like Frankie’s presence ignited something in Zach—a desire for sure—but for what exactly, Frankie couldn’t quite pinpoint it yet. Zach leaned closer to Frankie, pressing his lips to Frankie’s once again. Zach literally couldn’t get enough of being with Frankie. It was intoxicating in a totally different way than anything else. He supposed that Frankie just made him happy.

“Well, not like that,” Frankie quipped after he broke the kiss, pressing their foreheads together. Zach sighed softly in response. 

“You can try to act like you did in the house, I guess. Just act like I’m your best friend. Avoid being too touchy-feely when I come to the party, yeah?” Frankie suggested. Zach nodded, pecking Frankie’s lips quickly. If Zach was going to act normal, or at least attempt to be as normal as possible, he decided he better get in all of his affection now. 

“What about OUT?” Zach questioned, “Will you help me?”

“Of course, baby,” Frankie murmured, bringing their clasped hands up and touching the back of Zach’s hand to his own cheek before kissing it. Zach squeezed Frankie’s hand in response.

“Can I tell them I’m straight?” Zach wondered. He was afraid to ask, but that was the real question on his mind. How would Frankie react if Zach said that again, to a national magazine—a gay magazine. Zach had to know though. He didn’t want to get stuck in an awkward position in this interview. Frankie had set it up. Zach knew this interview was actually important to Frankie. Zach didn’t want to screw it up.

Frankie’s mind halted at the question. Did Zach just imply that he wasn’t straight? What kind of question was Zach asking? Frankie kept his face steady, allowing only his mind to wander down that road. He had to remain calm. Freaking Zach out right now would not help at all. He’d always wondered about Zach’s claims about being straight—even in the ‘Big Brother’ house. Things were getting even murkier now, but when Zach said stuff like this, Frankie could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“If that’s what you want to say, then yes. They’ll want an answer to your ‘label’ or lack of ‘label’. Answer whatever makes you comfortable. This is your story to tell,” Frankie responded. It was true, Frankie reasoned to himself, he had no right to say or request anything from Zach. Everyone’s sexuality was their own—to discuss or not discuss as they pleased. He didn’t want to push Zach. If he were being honest—it would hurt a little when Zach said he was straight. It already had hurt in the previous interviews he’d read. He could handle it though. He was certain Zach was going to be worth it in the end. 

“Okay. You’re sure?” Zach asked, his eyes questioning, searching Frankie’s face again. Zach didn’t understand how Frankie could have such a straight face all of the time. It was like he had this immaculate armor that Zach couldn’t penetrate when it mattered most.

“I promise, baby,” Frankie answered, ignoring the part of his heart that ached with that answer. Really, he told himself, he was okay with this. It would be okay.

Zach phone buzzed beside him. He turned it over to see a text from his mother, asking if he’d left Miami yet because it was only a few hours until the party. Zach glanced at the time. It was eleven-thirty. “Fuck, we have to go,” Zach said, sitting up in bed, dropping Frankie’s hand as he texted his mom back quickly. 

“Calm down baby, we’re less than an hour away, remember? I’ll get you home in plenty of time. I’m going to shower really quickly, okay? I do have to go pick up Lauren and Paul at the airport after I drop you off. Maybe we can grab Starbucks on the way? I’m so exhausted,” Frankie sighed, rolling out of his bed and heading for the attached bathroom.

Frankie glanced back, seeing a crazed look on Zach’s face. “Baby, lay down. Relax. Give me five minutes or less, okay?” Frankie murmured.

“Yeah, yeah, five minutes,” Zach repeated, laying on his back.

Frankie showered quickly, returning to see Zach obsessively scrolling through twitter. Frankie took Zach’s phone, setting it on the dresser and out of Zach’s reach as Frankie set about finding clothes for himself. After a few more minutes, Zach got out of bed, collecting his clothes from the night before and dressing himself. Zach found himself staring in Frankie’s mirror a few minutes later, trying to tame his hair into an acceptable look. Frankie followed shortly after, blow-drying his hair and going through his make-up bag.

Zach watched Frankie. It was strangely comforting. Zach felt like he was back in the ‘Big Brother’ house, just watching Frankie like he used to do all the time. He could watch Frankie do anything. Frankie winked at Zach in the mirror and Zach blushed, but he didn’t leave, waiting for Frankie to finish. When Zach thought Frankie was done, he stood up from his perch on the edge of the bathtub and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around Frankie from behind. Frankie brought his hand up to the side of Zach’s face, patting his cheek softly and smiling. Zach whispered, “I love you, so fucking much.”

Frankie hummed in approval before replying, “I love you too Zachary." Frankie turned in Zach's arms, leaning back to evaluate Zach's hair. Frankie started rearranging Zach's hair. Zach watched as Frankie bit his lip in concentration, stepping away from Zach, then grabbing for different bottles and combs on the bathroom counter. Zach figured he'd just go with it. Frankie always looked perfect, so letting Frankie fix his hair only made sense. Besides, Zach loved the attention from Frankie. He couldn't explain why, but letting Frankie fix his hair felt incredibly intimate. 

Frankie took a few minutes before he decided Zach's hair looked good. He smiled and nodded approvingly as Zach took a look in the mirror, a shy smile spreading over his face. Frankie grabbed Zach's cheeks, forcing him to look at him again. "That's better. You're fucking hot. Now move your ass. We have places to be, right?” Zach giggled in response, swatting at Frankie's ass as he walked through the bathroom door in front of him.

They went out the front door, Frankie once again pulling Zach through the different rooms as they arrived in the entryway. Zach could see a little more in the daylight, noting that there was actually a cabana outside and seeing the huge kitchen that he’d missed last night. Once outside, Frankie locked the door behind them, turning ‘honeybee’ on before they even got in the car. Zach thought the house looked different in the daylight. It was just as impressive, but it seemed even bigger now. Zach supposed he could just see the full expanse now. Either way, it was definitely a house befitting the Grande family. 

Zach slid into the passenger seat and Frankie drove away from the house. Zach glanced back as they exited the driveway. He wondered when he’d get to spend the night here again—he hoped it would be soon. Tonight would be okay with him. He started planning his night in his head—how he should pack a new bag when he got home so that he could stay with Frankie tonight. Zach didn’t even care if Frankie’s friends knew. He just wanted to be with Frankie as much as he could be. 

“Post something on twitter. Something ‘Zach Attack’ would say,” Frankie suggested a few minutes after they’d left the house.

“Why?” Zach wondered, waiting for Frankie to respond. He knew the answer, but he wanted to see how Frankie would respond.

“Mostly because it’s what they’re expecting—your mother, some of your fans…you know?” Frankie explained. He didn’t want to elaborate further. He didn’t want to talk about how ‘Zach Attack’ could basically be a cover for Zach. Those thoughts were a little too real right now.

“Yeah, okay,” Zach agreed, crafting a quick tweet on his phone before he tossed his phone in a cup holder and relaxed into his seat.

Zach took Frankie’s hand in his when they reached the highway, riding in comfortable silence for most of the drive. Zach had his eyes closed, still feeling worn out from the night before, but he kept squeezing Frankie’s hand so that he’d know he was still awake, still with him, and even more than that—he was aware that he was here with Frankie, exactly where he wanted to be.

Zach helped Frankie navigate when they reached Palm Beach Gardens, having Frankie pull into a parking spot in Zach’s development, far enough away from Zach’s place that no one would notice Frankie’s car—which was hard to ignore. It was now 1:15. Zach knew he needed to go inside. He only had an hour to get ready. It would hardly be enough. Zach felt like he was a total wreck. He was sure he just felt dirty because he hadn’t showered yet today and he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Zach hoped his mom wouldn’t say anything about that. He couldn’t really explain it away. It was what it was though.

Zach felt Frankie’s head fall on his shoulder. Zach turned, catching a whiff of Frankie’s hair. It smelled good. Zach wanted to bottle how Frankie smelled and carry it with him. He could use it to calm his nerves, alleviate his fears, and fuel his desires—anything really. Frankie made Zach feel like he could do anything. He wished he could carry that feeling with him everywhere for any situation.

“I don’t want you to go,” Zach murmured, leaning his head against Frankie.

“I don’t want to go either, but I have to. Lauren and Paul have already been in that airport for at least an hour. They’re probably pissed at me. It’ll take me an hour to get to them,” Frankie explained.

“Wow, yeah, you better go get them. Can we take a picture first? We didn’t take any of us last night and I need more pictures of us,” Zach commented.

“Is that really a question?” Frankie joked, “Haven’t you learned that I’m like the king of selfies?”

“In more ways than one,” Zach taunted with a wink, remembering all of the hypersexual pictures Frankie had sent him. Frankie laughed, leaning in to kiss Zach. When they broke the kiss, Zach saw that Frankie already had his arm outstretched in front of them, snapping pictures. Zach laughed, but leaned his head close to Frankie, smiling for the camera. They took a few different variations over a couple of minutes. They were all on Frankie’s phone, so he handed it to Zach so that Zach could send himself the ones he liked—which was basically all of them.

Zach handed back Frankie’s phone, laughing at the messages he was getting from Lauren and Paul. “I think your friends are a bit annoyed,” Zach commented, laughing at a picture that Paul had sent Frankie. Frankie took the phone, scrolling through his texts quickly.

“They’ll be fine,” Frankie mumbled, reaching for Zach hand again, “So, do you want to post one of these pictures? I mean…I did kind of tell the world I’d be seeing you soon…and you said you want your mother to know we saw each other…”

“Yeah!” Zach enthused, “We can each post one. Together, like at the same time…like a real couple.” Frankie rolled his eyes a little at Zach’s last statement. Man, he thought, this kid was going to be an adventure. That much he knew for sure. 

“Okay, let’s do it. Show me yours before you post it,” Frankie instructed. About a minute later, Zach was holding his phone out, showing Frankie the picture he’d chosen and the caption.

“Bromance, huh?” Frankie murmured, his hand sliding up Zach’s thigh, getting dangerously close to Zach’s crotch. Zach squirmed in his seat with a light laugh that turned into a moan when Frankie began kissing Zach’s neck. 

“Fraaaankiiieeee,” Zach giggled.

“Yes, Daddy,” Frankie answered in his Marilyn voice, face innocent, eyes blinking. Zach laughed, leaning in to kiss Frankie, deepening the kiss in an instant, relishing the taste of Frankie. He wasn’t sure how long he’d have to wait to do this again, but he hoped it would only be until tonight.

“Bromance it is,” Frankie added with a wink when they broke apart. Frankie showed Zach his caption and Zach giggled again, nodding his approval. “Done!” Frankie announced. Zach was still on his phone while Frankie waited, glancing curiously at Zach until he saw the comments pop up under his new post. Zach had commented first. “You are such a girl,” Frankie teased, leaning in to kiss Zach again, pulling him closer by his collar, enjoying the synched movement of their lips against each other.

“You need to go,” Frankie murmured, glancing at the clock. It was after one-thirty.

“I know,” Zach lamented. Frankie put the car in drive again, following Zach’s instructions to the correct building and pulling into the parking spot nearest the front door. “I’ll see you tonight,” Zach stated.

Frankie nodded in agreement, reaching out for Zach again. His hand fell on Zach’s cheek. Frankie kissed Zach quickly. Zach smiled as he slid out of the car, waving as Frankie pulled away. Frankie felt a little sad, but tried to shake the feeling, blasting his music when he hit the freeway again, dancing and singing along on his way to pick up his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The calm is nice...yes?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's October again  
> The leaves are coming down  
> One more year's come and gone  
> And nothing's changed at all  
> Wasn't I supposed to be someone  
> To face the things that I've been running from  
> Let me feel, I don't care if I break down  
> Let me fall, even if I hit the ground  
> And if I cry a little, die a little  
> At least I know I lived—Just a little

It was late. The sky was black and most of the world was already asleep when Lauren walked into Frankie’s room. She sat on the edge of Frankie’s bed, eyeing him carefully. Frankie looked up from his computer screen, pausing the video he was watching. He returned her gaze, eyes steady, face impenetrable. “Do not give me that look. I know you like the back of my hand. Spill,” Lauren huffed, flopping onto her back, arms splayed.

“What is there to talk about? It’s pretty obvious what happened,” Frankie insisted.

“Don’t even try it, I was there. I know what happened. What did Zach say? I know you were texting him,” Lauren countered. She propped herself up on one side, staring at him, body still, eyes narrowing as she waited.

Frankie debated how to respond. Rehashing the events of the night didn’t sound particularly fun, but he knew Lauren was not going to give it up. Besides, he’d always shared his gossip and relationship drama with her—why stop now? Finally, Frankie sighed, leaning back against the pillow and squeezed the bridge of his nose with one hand. When he opened his eyes, he looked at Lauren who was still waiting. “Okay, okay,” Frankie relented, sitting up and moving so that he could face Lauren a little better.

“I mean, I don’t know everything for a fact. The party started a three. Zach knew I had to go pick up you and Paul at the airport. He wanted me to come. He seemed excited, but a little anxious about it. I thought he was nervous because he wasn’t sure how his family would react. I think it goes beyond that now. I don’t think he even told his mother that he’d invited me—let alone that I was coming. After we got home from dinner, I texted him, asking if he’d told his mother that he had invited me. He skirted the answer, avoiding a simple yes or no,” Frankie started. Lauren nodded encouragingly, eyes still glued to Frankie. She’d suspected this much. She could already feel the anger coursing through her—she didn’t like how this was playing out, but she needed to know how Frankie was seeing things first. Sometimes he had a tendency to let his emotions cloud his reason.

“Anyway, I think she saw my tweet. She’s all over twitter. Zach said the party ended suddenly—he didn’t blame his mother, but reading between the lines, I don’t think she wanted me to come,” Frankie reasoned. “Victoria was there, but that doesn’t mean anything. Zach told me they have a bunch of promotional stuff coming up in Florida. It makes sense really. I’m not worried about that,” Frankie continued.

Lauren could see that Frankie was a little hurt. It was in the way he talked about it. He was a little restrained—not his usual animated self. He was trying to act unperturbed, but Lauren could see it under the surface. She’d been friends with him for too long. She swallowed the curse words and other obscenities she wanted to utter, going instead for the softer tone that Frankie was still using. “Okay, so things are good?” Lauren asked.

“I mean, yeah, things are good between us. I don’t blame Zach. Granted, it sounds like maybe he should have been more open with his family that I was supposed to come or at least told me that I shouldn’t make a big deal about attending the party, but what’s done is done. He doesn’t get it—this is all new for him. I’m not going to get mad at him for this. It’s not a big deal. I’ll see him soon. He still wants me to help him with his OUT interview. I already gave him some pointers. He talked about meeting up tomorrow,” Frankie explained.

“Yeah, he could really use your help with that. What happened with seeing him tonight? I thought you were trying to get him to come over since the party ended early,” Lauren questioned, even though she suspected she already knew the answer.

Frankie shifted a little uncomfortably on the bed, looking down at his hands before he spoke again. “Yeah, he can’t come over tonight. He doesn’t have a car,” Frankie stated.

“You could go get him though. So what, he can’t leave or what? He’s an adult,” Lauren reasoned, watching Frankie’s face darken for a second before it was back to normal. She knew she was approaching the limit—getting too close to what Frankie didn’t want to say.

“He needs to spend time with his family,” Frankie summed up, not meeting Lauren’s eyes as he said it. That was it. That was the sign that Frankie was done. He’d opened up, but he didn’t want to fully go there yet. Lauren could wait—but she was ready and willing to pounce at the first shady word thrown Frankie’s way.

Lauren moved to lie on her back again. Frankie relaxed too, leaning back against his pillows again, grabbing his computer from the side table. “Look at this twitter account,” Frankie murmured excitedly. Lauren climbed up the bed, sitting next to Frankie so that she could see.

“Zankie Moments,” she murmured, her voice questioning, “No way!”

“Yeah,” Frankie answered, “They have tons of videos of me and Zach. They’re all linked on this twitter with dates, times, and pictures. It’s kind of amazing. I can’t believe anyone took the time to do all of this. I don’t even remember most of this…for real, I don’t.”

“Well, you were also playing a game,” Lauren reasoned.

“Yeah, but it’s not really me that I’m looking at. I know what I said and did, but it’s the little things with Zach. I picked up on a lot of it in the house—I mean, I was certain there was more between us than just best friends before I even got to the jury house,” Frankie explained, “But the things he does behind my back. Seeing his eyes shift and his body language. It’s incredible.”

Lauren smiled at Frankie. She’d heard him speak this way before. It was almost reverent. He was protecting and worshipping Zach at the same time. He wasn’t just in love with Zach; he was smitten. Lauren had only seen Frankie this way once before—it hadn’t ended well, but that hadn’t been Frankie’s fault. “Hey Frankie,” Lauren started. Frankie cocked his head to look at her, his face now smiling. “I haven’t really seen you look at or talk about someone the way you talk about Zach since Aaron,” Lauren murmured. It was simultaneously a warning and an admiration. Frankie was well aware of what she meant. He just smiled playfully, returning his gaze to the screen.

Lauren smiled at the screen too, laughing with Frankie as they watched Zach and Frankie do a weird handshake—or maybe it was a dance—in the HOH room. It was from really early on in the game and they were acting ridiculous. Frankie smirked when the clip ended. “Wow. We were a hot mess,” Frankie remarked. Lauren only giggled in response as Frankie scrolled to a different clip.

“Look at this one. It made me laugh. I might be a little in love with it,” Frankie murmured as he clicked the link, watching as Zach began reciting his original eviction speech. Frankie couldn’t help but laugh again. He still knew every word of this speech. He heard Zach say it hundreds of times. It had gotten exceedingly annoying in the house, but at the time, Frankie had felt too guilty to really let it get to him. The last thing he’d wanted to do was evict Zach, but Derrick had made sense at the time. Now, Frankie knew how manipulative Derrick had been, but Frankie was good at letting things go. He could enjoy the memories for what they were. He didn’t hold any grudges.

Lauren rolled her eyes a little. “God, he said this so many times. I don’t know how one of you didn’t slap him upside the head,” she commented.

“Hey! We were going to evict him. I think we all felt sorry for him since he didn’t know,” Frankie explained, shrugging his shoulders. Now the good part was starting as Frankie rose from his chair, mouthing the speech with Zach and imitating his hand gestures. It was cute. They were cute. Frankie smiled softly to himself, remembering the days they’d spent nearly inseparable—sleeping together, eating together, playing pool together. Frankie wished he could have that back. He’d do a lot of things to have Zach by his side right now.

The night carried on that way until Frankie was too tired for words. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been watching videos of him and Zach, but he was fairly certain it was unhealthy. The one where they’d told each other that they were in love with each other almost hurt Frankie’s heart. He was so sincere in that moment, timid almost. He knew that he meant it, he was just afraid of what Zach felt. When Zach had said he was in love with him, Frankie’s heart had felt like it had taken flight, wings beating wildly as it attempt to escape his chest. Frankie thought he’d played it pretty calmly when he watched it back now, but he’d never forget the feeling of that moment.

Miles away from Frankie’s house, Zach tossed and turned in his bed. He’d gone to bed early, hoping to avoid the drama. He was regretting that decision now that it was the middle of the night and he couldn’t fall back asleep. He’d had enough drama at the restaurant as the party had ended early and he’d been ushered back to his house. He’d tried to apologize to Frankie via text, but he didn’t want to explain the specifics. Frankie seemed willing to accept his apology, but Zach still felt bad. Zach hated being awake in the middle of the night. There was nothing to do but think and he only had one thing on his mind—Frankie. He missed Frankie. He wanted to be back in Frankie’s arms, in Frankie’s bed right now, but he knew he couldn’t. He was stuck—it was the worst feeling ever.

Zach rolled over in bed, getting to his feet and stumbling in the dark. He stubbed his toe on the edge of the dresser and had to cover his mouth, silently cursing as he waited for the throbbing to ebb. He carefully pulled open the top drawer of his dresser, his hand sliding underneath the socks. He felt the soft, scrunched-up fabric that was tied into a circle and pulled it out. Zach ran his fingers over the fabric before pressing it to his nose. The smell of Frankie was so faded that Zach wasn’t even sure if it was there anymore, but Zach could kind of smell it. It might have just been his memory of the smell, but he’d take what he could get. Zach walked gingerly back to the bed. He put Frankie’s pillowcase head wrap next him on his pillow. Zach fell asleep rubbing the pink fabric between his fingers, trying to imagine Frankie was next to him.

* * *

Zach slammed his bedroom door in frustration the next morning. By some cruel twist of fate, his mother had decided to work from home today. Zach had thought he’d basically have the house to himself during the day, just like he usually did when Peyton was at school. His dad was home a lot of the time, but he never bothered him. Today, however, his dad had a meeting or something, so Zach was hoping that he could see Frankie. He wanted Frankie to be with him for the OUT interview. Zach was really nervous about it—more nervous than he wanted to admit.

Now, Zach was just angry. Frankie had texted him this morning, but Zach had waited to reply when he heard his mother at the kitchen table, talking to someone. She didn’t work from home all that often, but of course she would pick today, Zach thought ruefully. Zach picked up his phone now, carefully crafting a text message to Frankie. He wanted to sound like he was sorry that he couldn’t see him but he also didn’t want to betray his anger, which was way harder said than done.

Frankie was already up and ready for the day. He’d just sat down in the living room, chatting with Paul and Lauren. They were waiting for Zach to answer so they could make their own plans for the day. When Zach finally texted back, Lauren could see the disappointment flash across Frankie’s face before he quickly corrected himself and smiled brightly. “It’s just us! What do you all want to do today?” Frankie exclaimed, the cheer in his voice too much to be genuine.

Zach began to pace his bedroom as 1 pm approached. He’d received a text from the interviewer—a guy named Brandon—earlier this morning saying he’d be calling at 1. Zach tried to keep all of Frankie’s advice in his head, but it was hard. His mind was so full of frustration from last night and today that he was having a hard time focusing on the now and what he was going to say.

Zach stopped pacing, trying to sit on the edge of the bed and take some deep breaths, but it wasn’t working. Instead of slowing, his heart rate was ramping up. He felt a little sick. He checked the time again. He had fifteen minutes before this guy called him. He was trying to restrain himself from calling Frankie. He kind of wanted to prove that he could do this on his own. That, however, seemed increasingly impossible. Finally, Zach gave in, picking his phone up and calling Frankie before he changed his mind. He began pacing again as the phone rang.

Frankie was lounging by the pool with Lauren and Paul. They were still filling Frankie in on the events of the summer that he’d missed. When the phone rang and Frankie saw Zach’s picture, he excused himself, heading for the doors into the living room. He didn’t want to bother his friends. Frankie had noticed the time when Zach called; he knew the interview was soon. This call could only mean one thing—Zach was scared.

Frankie answered and crossed the room into the kitchen, leaning over the island and resting his elbows on the counter while his chin fell to his hand. “Hey Zach,” Frankie greeted warmly. He tried to keep his tone even, preparing for the disaster that was certainly on the other end of the phone.

“Frankie! Frankie, oh thank god you answered! I-I am waiting for this interviewer to call me and my mind is just turning with possibilities. Why am I so nervous? I can give interviews. I think I’m sweating,” Zach rambled, his mind jumping from idea to idea, not slowing down.

Frankie had to interrupt Zach to get a word in. He spoke slowly and strongly, “Zach…Zach…Zachary…Zachary Rance.” Zach finally stopped talking, Frankie could hear his loud breathing through the phone. “Take a deep breath,” Frankie instructed. It didn’t sound like Zach had done anything, the sounds on the other end unchanged. “I said, take a deep breath baby,” Frankie tried again. This time he heard Zach inhale with a slow exhale, his breath blowing past the receiver.

“Frankie…” Zach started, but trailed off.

“Listen babe, you’re fine. Why are you worried?” Frankie asked.

“I feel like this is important to you. I don’t want to disappoint you. I never want to disappoint you,” Zach admitted, finally sitting back down, perched on the edge of his bed.

“You love me?” Frankie questioned.

“Fuck yes!” Zach exclaimed.

“Then we’re good. I love you and what you say today isn’t going to change anything. How many times have you put your foot in your mouth? And how many times have I told you that I love you despite that?” Frankie reasoned.

“A lot,” Zach murmured. He sighed deeply, flopping back on his bed now. He felt a little better. Zach marveled at Frankie’s ability to soothe his worries—no one else was as good at that as Frankie.

“Just be yourself. There is no one better to be, okay?” Frankie encouraged.

“You’re like a fucking hallmark card. Why do I like it?” Zach mused.

“Because I’m me and you’re you,” Frankie summed up.

“You are too much, but I love it. I love you,” Zach murmured, checking the time on his phone. He only had a few minutes now.

“I love you too,” Frankie replied.

“I should go. Keep the line open for this guy. Wish me luck,” Zach said, his voice decidedly more even than it had been when he’d called. Frankie wasn’t worried, truly. He knew Zach would do nothing but praise him, even if he still insisted he was straight—which Frankie was suspecting was Zach’s biggest lie.

“You don’t need it. Bye my love,” Frankie answered, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah! Maybe tomorrow, okay? I’ll let you know, but definitely for Disney. I’m excited,” Zach declared.

“Definitely. Bye!” Frankie said, glancing up to see Paul and Lauren looking at him. They looked away quickly when he caught their eyes.

“Bye babe,” Zach uttered, slowly hanging up the phone. He was still laying on his bed. He sat up now, staring at the phone. He tried to replay Frankie’s words in his head— _I love you and what you say today isn’t going to change anything_. Zach sighed softly, preparing himself, trying to get a bit of a game face on, but not his usual ‘Zach Attack’ persona. He was going to try something a little different—a little more honesty, maybe a little more vulnerability. He wanted Frankie to be proud of him.

Brandon called a minute later and Zach answered after the first ring. Brandon was way nicer than the other interviewers he’d talked to before. Brandon didn’t pump him relentlessly for information that Zach didn’t want to give. Brandon never trapped him either. Zach knew Brandon was trying to get information from him, but it was much more subtle. Zach was smart enough to recognize it and avoid it. Honestly, the whole conversation was quite enjoyable.

When the interview was over, Zach texted a quick thumbs up emoji to Frankie who sent him back a pink sparkling heart. Zach smiled, dropping his phone on his bed and leaving his room. He wanted to go to the pool or something, but when he left his room, his mom started talking to him immediately. “Who were you talking to for so long?” Jill asked.

Zach did his best not to react to the question and he took perhaps a beat too long to answer. “Erik,” he lied, shrugging as he went to check the fridge. “I’m going to go hang out by the pool,” Zach stated, grabbing a water bottle and heading for the door to the back patio.

“Not so fast, mister! Your room is atrocious. You still have laundry from ‘Big Brother’ that you haven’t done. Can’t you do that today? It’d be so much more productive than going to the pool,” Jill suggested. Zach wanted to say no, but he couldn’t. He chugged the bottle of water quickly, wandering back to his room.

* * *

Frankie woke up the next morning to an email from Brandon with a copy of the transcript of Zach’s OUT interview. Brandon had also said it would be posted later today. Frankie opened the link eagerly. Frankie read quickly, his attention fully focused on the words glowing on the screen of his phone. When he finished, Frankie’s face had broken out into a huge grin. Zach had said so many _good_ things, so many _right_ things. Despite insisting he was straight, Zach seemed open and honest. He didn’t try too hard to push back against Brandon’s questions. It was refreshing. Finally, an interview Zach had given that Frankie could really like—as long as he ignored the slight pang when he read the words “ _I’m straight_ ”.

Frankie quickly typed out a thank you to Brandon and called Zach. Zach answered on the last ring, his voice groggy. “Frankie,” Zach croaked, a hint of surprise at the end.

“Sorry to wake you. Did Brandon email you? He has the rough transcript of your interview. It’s going live today,” Frankie wondered. Zach quickly checked his phone. He did have an email from Brandon, but he didn’t click on it, too interested in Frankie’s phone call.

“Oh, yeah, I have an email…so, what did you think?” Zach asked, hopeful because Frankie sounded cheerful and people only called to wake someone up if they were mad or really happy.

“It’s beautiful baby. What you said at the end about how sexual orientation doesn’t matter and you don’t see my sexual orientation when you look at me. I loved it. I really did,” Frankie gushed

Zach felt himself blush a little. He always did this when Frankie praised him. Zach loved to hear the words, but it felt weird. Zach was fairly certain that no one more perfect than Frankie had ever walked the planet—so to hear him say these things was beyond incredible. “Thanks! I’m so happy you liked it. I just wanted you to like it. No one else matters,” Zach murmured, wishing he could take that attitude with the rest of his life.

“I’ll let you go back to sleep. Text me later baby,” Frankie said, yawning a little at the end as he stretched in his bed.

“I definitely will. I wish you were here to cuddle with me. Frankie, I love you. Thank you for setting that interview up for me. It was great, really,” Zach added, closing his eyes and pulling the covers up closer to his chin.

“Of course—anything for you. I’d love to cuddle with you baby. Soon. I love you too. Bye Zachary,” Frankie said, his voice getting softer and lighter at the end. Zach loved the way Frankie said his full name. He couldn’t explain it—but it sounded so much better when Frankie said it.

“Night Franklin!” Zach murmured before he hung up. Frankie chuckled a little. Only Zach would say goodnight in the morning.

Zach slept most of the day. He got up briefly, playing with Tiger and watching TV. He’d texted Frankie once, but it sounded like he was really busy with his friends, so Zach didn’t try to make any plans even though he wanted to. He would see them all tomorrow anyway and spend a few days with them in Orlando. He was in his room, sorting through the laundry he’d done yesterday, trying to pick out what to pack when his mother got home.

She walked straight to Zach’s open door. Zach glanced up, surprised at the look on her face. She looked annoyed. Zach wasn’t sure what exactly he’d done wrong until he remembered seeing a tweet from Frankie about his OUT interview being online. That had to be it, Zach concluded.

“Mom, really, it’s not a big—“ Zach started, but Jill cut him off.

“Not only did you set up an interview behind my back—but you didn’t even have the decency to tell me?” Jill muttered, her voice low and dangerous. Zach knew he was in trouble. Sure, Jill had been handling all of his media interactions since he left the 'Big Brother' house, but it wasn’t like it was written in stone or anything. It was only because it was convenient. Zach knew that wasn’t the right approach to take now.

Zach swallowed all of the other responses that came to his mind and simply said, “I’m sorry.” He turned away from his mother as she walked away from the room. Zach knew that interaction had been fairly painless, but he suspected she’d find another way to punish him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait for this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother's right here, Mother will protect you  
> Darling, here's what I suggest  
> Skip the drama, Stay with mama  
> Mother knows best
> 
> Go ahead, get trampled by a rhino  
> Go ahead, get mugged and left for dead  
> Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know?  
> I only bathed and changed and nursed you
> 
> Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it  
> Let me die alone here, be my guest  
> When it's too late, you'll see, just wait  
> Mother knows best

Frankie sprang out of bed with his alarm clock. He was wide-awake—normally, this would be unusual, but today was Disney day. He’d spent the better part of a week waiting for this day. He couldn’t quite explain how much he loved going to Disney. It was kind of beyond words—it was something that had to be witnessed to be understood. Plus, they were going to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. Frankie and Zach had even talked about doing that when they were still in the ‘Big Brother’ house. That was really what had Frankie so pumped up about today—Zach. Frankie was finally going to get uninterrupted time alone with Zach. He had been looking forward to it from the moment Zach agreed. It would only be a short trip for Zach who had to attend his cousin’s wedding this coming weekend, but Zach wanted to come. When Frankie had offered the trip a couple weeks ago, Zach had said yes without a second thought.

Frankie found his collection of Disney music and let it play while he started to pack, singing along at the good parts. He had texted Zach right after he’d woken up, just letting him know they’d be heading over around noon. Zach hadn’t responded yet. Frankie was only mildly concerned about the lack of response. Usually, Zach would text him back pretty quickly, but there was definitely a strong chance that Zach was still asleep. Frankie tried to put the thought out of his mind as he wandered to the kitchen.

Frankie found Lauren and Paul drinking coffee in the kitchen. “Morning, guys. Are you ready?” Frankie asked, as he made his way to the refrigerator, looking for something to eat.

“The real question is are you? A vacation with Zach, huh? Are things getting serious?” Lauren taunted, setting her coffee cup down on and leaning over the kitchen island, her face mischeivious.

“It’s not a big deal,” Frankie lied, shrugging his shoulders as he returned to the contents of the fridge. He couldn’t figure out why he was lying. Lauren would see right through him. He just couldn’t bring himself to admit how important this was to him. His relationship with Zach was weird and undefined and wonderful all at once. He was hoping they would actually talk about things on this trip. They were guaranteed they wouldn’t be interrupted, so there was no better time. Frankie had to suppress a smile when his mind brought up an image of Zach—naked. Frankie’s thoughts started to linger over all of the things he couldn’t wait to show Zach in bed. He could already tell this was going to be his new favorite hobby—teaching Zach and watching him experience new things. 

Unfortunately for Frankie, Lauren interrupted his train of thought, “Frankie!” she insisted. Frankie’s head snapped up to look at her.

“What? What?” Frankie asked, his head returning back to this reality instead of his daydream.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Forget it. You’re just going to lie to me anyway—again. Let’s just go pick up your boyfriend and get the show on the road,” she threw back at Frankie. Frankie laughed. He knew she wasn’t being mean, she just didn’t sugar coat anything.

“Friend,” Frankie insisted, correcting her statement.

“Whatever you say,” Lauren said with a shrug. She turned to head back to her room and gather her things. She stopped to tell Paul, “Thank god they have their own room. Can you just imagine what we’d have to put up with?” she joked, winking at Frankie as she turned to leave. Paul just laughed, shaking his head a little as he left the room too.

Frankie finished packing quickly. He checked his phone when he was done, grateful to see a response from Zach. It was a simple ‘ok’, but it was better than nothing. Frankie gathered his things and loaded the car, ready for a road trip with Zach by his side. Frankie knew his friends were amazing and would be nothing but kind and accepting of Zach. That was who they were and why he loved them. Frankie wouldn’t admit it, but he was hoping this trip could be a trial run of sorts—a chance for him and Zach to act like a real couple. Frankie wanted to show Zach everything they could have, if Zach was willing to take it.

Frankie was driving down the freeway, Lauren to his right, Paul in the backseat. Frankie had his music blaring. He had been playing Ariana’s new album basically nonstop since he’d gotten out of the ‘Big Brother’ house, but there was something about driving around town with the top down and singing along. It was one of his favorite things. He loved everything about New York City, except that he never got to drive around like he did in Florida or Los Angeles. 

Zach was trying to sit still on the couch. The TV was obnoxiously loud. All he could do was wait. He felt like he had to break the news in person—he hoped he didn’t regret that decision later. He wasn’t going to Disney. It was a long story, one he didn’t want to tell Frankie. It not only made Zach look weak, and he knew that, but it made someone else look bad—someone he loved. Zach was full of remorse already at the thought of missing this trip. All he really wanted to do was be with Frankie, so he’d have to take advantage of the brief time they’d get this morning. He knew Frankie wasn’t going to take this news well. He’d already put up with a few cancelled plans. Zach shook his head at the memory of his welcome back party. That had turned out horribly and he had no way to explain it to Frankie without recounting a lot of things that he really didn’t want to think about again—even if they did keep recurring on a near daily basis.

When Frankie pulled into a parking spot in front of Zach’s place, he hopped out quickly, checking his hair in the mirror, making sure the wind hadn’t messed it up too much. Lauren took her seatbelt off, but Frankie spoke up before she got out of the car, “Let me get him. Wait here. It’ll just take a second,” Frankie muttered quickly.

“Do the love birds want some time alone? Isn’t that why you got two bedrooms,” Lauren teased, rolling her eyes at Frankie who only smiled back, winking exaggeratedly as he left Lauren and Paul behind.

Frankie knocked on the door lightly. He suspected Zach was home alone, but he didn’t really want to make a spectacle of his arrival. He knew that making a display of himself in Zach’s home could potentially be a disaster. Frankie waited a second, reaching for his phone in his pocket, thinking he should text Zach, but the door swung open before he could even get his messages open. Frankie smiled brightly at Zach who didn’t even bother to smile back. Instead, Zach grabbed Frankie’s hand, pulling him into the house and pushing the door closed rather loudly. Frankie didn’t have time to think about any of that before Zach had his arms around him, pulling Frankie closer and pressing their lips together. Frankie wasn’t even surprised by Zach’s actions as he deepened the kiss immediately. Zach’s hands fell to Frankie’s ass, squeezing roughly and pulling Frankie even closer.

When Frankie broke the kiss, he chuckled lightly, pecking Zach’s lips once more. “Damn, you’re eager. Just how I like it, Daddy. This is going to be fun. We have our own room you know,” Frankie whispered conspiratorially, his teeth grazing along Zach’s ear lobe. His voice was low while his eyes were glinting with possibilities. Zach tried to give a genuine smile back, but it was tight and he knew it. Frankie wasn’t blind to that look and he stepped away immediately, his eyes searching the room. He didn’t see a suitcase. “Where is your stuff?” Frankie asked, the playful tone gone without a trace.

Zach dropped his head a little as his hand came to rub behind his neck. Frankie could read body language. Zach’s shoulders were hunched, his arms now held close to his body while he wouldn’t meet Frankie’s eyes. Zach wasn’t going. It was painfully obvious now that the man in front of him wasn’t devouring his lips. “Say it,” Frankie ordered. He wanted Zach to have to tell him, to utter the words himself. 

“I can’t go,” Zach mumbled, his eyes trained on the floor below him. Frankie wasn’t sure what he thought having Zach say the words was going to do for him. What he didn’t expect was the way that it took the spark of anger he was feeling and turned it into a full blown fire. Frankie wanted to believe there was a way to salvage this, but the phrasing Zach had used— _can’t_ —spoke volumes. Can’t is what you say when you aren’t allowed—when you’re too pathetic to take what you want.

Frankie wanted to scream. He wanted to yell. He wanted to make Zach see what he was doing—what he was choosing. It wouldn’t make a difference though. Zach wasn’t ready. Frankie could see that. Despite what he’d allowed himself to hope, Zach wasn’t ready—maybe he never would be. Frankie felt foolish. He couldn’t help but wonder why he’d done this to himself. He’d broken his own rules—rules he’d put in place to help prevent this. He’d gotten too caught up; he’d let the idea of Zach take root when he should have tossed it aside a long time ago.

“Frankie, please, say something, I’m sorry,” Zach almost whispered, finally raising his head, his eyes meeting Frankie’s. Maybe if this had been the first time, Frankie would’ve taken the apology, kissed him softly, and left without another word. Instead, it was just another in a line of broken plans over the last few days. He’d been understanding before, knowing they’d have days together, but now—now they had nothing but what was essentially a one-night stand. He almost felt used—he was just an experiment for Zach.

Zach wasn’t sure what was going to happen until Frankie swallowed once, his eyes now blazing. Zach’s first instinct was to shrink away from Frankie’s gaze, but he stood his ground, trying to be the man he wanted to be. “You’re going to choose her over me. Just say it. Tell me the truth. Tell me that you’ll never pick me,” Frankie ordered. His voice was measured, his body surprisingly calm, but his face had never looked more heated. He knew he was going there—pulling a trigger. He couldn’t help it. He wanted a reaction from Zach—something real, something honest. Maybe this was how he could get it.

“That’s not fair,” Zach started before he was stumbling over his words, not making any sense. How could he explain this? The truth was that he couldn’t. He saw now that Frankie knew what was going on behind closed doors. Zach didn’t even have to say it. With that one phrase, Zach knew that Frankie had always known. Memories of words Frankie had said at the finale night party crammed into Zach’s head all at once, reminding him, showing him the red flags he’d ignored. This relationship was always doomed. Frankie had known it, but Zach had been too naïve and Frankie had neglected to actually explain it to him. Now Zach could feel his own anger as his thoughts spiraled out of control, building up his ire. Why would Frankie do this to him? Why would Frankie promise him time and love and patience when he didn’t intend on actually giving them? That’s exactly what it felt like—like Zach had just been a little project and now that he was failing to pass some obstacle, Frankie was done in an instant. Didn’t he understand how hard this was? He’d said he did.

“No. You making a decision—that’s not something you get to call unfair. You know what’s actually unfair? The fact that there are hundreds of out gay men who would want to be with me and be proud to be seen with me, but I’ve been waiting for you and your straight ass—oh, wait, let’s not lie here—you’re not exactly straight Zach. No way in hell,” Frankie accused.

Zach didn’t know how to respond to that. He never really expected Frankie to take it there. Sure, it was an underlying problem. Zach couldn’t label himself—well, not anymore. The label he’d grown accustomed to, the one that protected him was slowly ripped away on national TV—by Frankie. “Fuck you,” Zach almost yelled. He’d had enough of this. All of the poking, prodding, questioning, whispering, and furtive glances he had received in the last two weeks were enough to drive anyone crazy. When it came from Frankie, he couldn’t handle it anymore. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you,” Frankie muttered, arms crossed over his chest now, toe tapping on the floor. He was waiting for what Zach would say next, but nothing came. Zach just stood there. Again, he was unable to meet Frankie’s eyes. 

“For fuck’s sake, you tell me you love me. You definitely love to kiss me and suck me off. You practically purred when I was rimming you. Make up your mind and stick with it. Are you gay? Are you straight? Are you bi? What the fuck Zachary!” Frankie muttered, his voice surprisingly controlled. He didn’t want to yell, but he needed to make a point here. This was ridiculous.

“I just need a little more time,” Zach tried to reason, his mind racing to get ahead in this fight. His mind paused there—was this even a fight? He wasn’t sure. It felt like a fight, but it wasn’t like the fights he had with his mother. This one already felt like there would be no winners.

“Do you want to tell me now?” Frankie asked, but it sounded more like a demand, his voice stern, his eyes narrowed. Zach felt like it was an ultimatum or a test. He wasn’t sure how to pass it. 

“Frankie, I…I want—” Zach tried to answer, but he was cut-off by Frankie. Frankie looked impatient now as he shook his head in frustration.

“Zach…I’m done,” Frankie mumbled. He cleared his throat, looking back at Zach who stared blankly at him, unmoving. “I’m done,” Frankie repeated, his voice stronger, his hands briefly raised in the air in defeat. Frankie told himself to turn around, to walk out the door, to leave Zach behind, to go his own way, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood, rooted to the spot, watching for Zach’s reaction. On some level, he hoped Zach would say something, do something, anything that would make him change his mind. In reality, though, he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

“You…can’t…” Zach started, his words choked. His mouth was hanging open as he tried to figure out what to say or do. Frankie wasn’t moving. Frankie wasn’t talking. Nothing was happening, yet everything was happening all at once.

“I can,” Frankie finally stated. It was like his brain had woken up again as he realized the words he’d spoken and more importantly, that he’d meant them. It was over. He wasn’t going to do this. This—whatever this was—was going to kill him. He couldn’t just wait for it to happen. It was better to do it now. The look on Zach’s face would’ve broken his heart, if it weren’t already shattered to dust.

“You don’t mean it,” Zach whispered, trying to convince himself it was true. Frankie sure looked like he meant it. His face was impassive, his arms now crossed over his chest as he continued to stare at Zach. Zach felt like his breath had been stolen from him. There was nothing left. All of the oxygen in the room was gone and his chest hurt. It hurt in ways that he didn’t know were possible.

Frankie turned his back to Zach, taking the few steps to the front door. He tried to keep his anger boiling just under the surface. He needed that anger. It was the only thing keeping him from crying. If he cried, he’d give in. He knew it. Instead, he focused on the disappointment, the betrayal, and the uncertainty that had combined to feed his anger, each popping up in turn. There were memories of promises broken and thoughts of words unmeant spoken in sincerity. 

Before he could exit, he heard Zach one last time. Zach’s voice was soft, full of something Frankie refused to hear. It was mostly fear, tinged with sorrow and desperation. “Please, tell me that you don’t mean it,” Zach begged. There was a pause as Frankie didn’t move, his back still to Zach, the door slightly open. Zach tried again, his voice cracking as he spoke. “You love me?” Zach questioned even though he’d meant for it to be a declaration. He found, mid sentence, that he wasn’t sure if he believed it anymore. Zach felt like his heart stopped, frozen, waiting to see if it was going to be allowed to beat again. Frankie heard the questioning tone of Zach’s voice. He almost wanted to answer, but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes, exhaling as he disappeared across the threshold, the door swiftly shutting behind him with a thud.

Frankie walked purposefully, his eyes brimming with tears. He refused to let them spill, putting on a huge smile as he walked back to the car. Lauren looked at him curiously. He’d been gone too long, both Lauren and Paul had noticed that. Frankie got in, announcing, “It’s just us. Let’s go make some magical memories.”

“No fucking way,” Lauren nearly yelled, her eyes darting to Zach’s door and then back to Frankie who only shrugged. “No fucking way,” she repeated, “I’m going to go kick some ass, this is ridiculous.” Frankie grabbed her arm, shaking his head. A tear fell from the movement. Frankie wiped it angrily, turning the music up, trying to drown out his thoughts as he pulled out of the parking spot. Ari’s voice drifted through the speakers, two three-letter words ringing out over and over again as he exited the small neighborhood. He couldn’t help but think ruefully, _‘Why Try’_ indeed.

Zach sunk to the floor as soon as Frankie was out of sight. He sat on the floor, his legs underneath him, resting all of his weight on his left hand, placed upon the cold tile floor. The tears fell now. They came slowly, each making its own path until Zach lost track of time. Tiger walked over to Zach, sitting next to him, resting his head on Zach’s shoulder. Zach rubbed one of Tiger’s ears, wishing he could feel Frankie’s cool touch on his own ear. Eventually, Zach decided he should move—where his hand once felt coolness, it was now warm. So, Zach pulled himself off of the floor, turning away from the door, abandoning the hope that Frankie would return and bring Zach’s heart back with him. 

Zach heard footsteps on the stairs. He turned to see his mom. “Is he gone?” Jill asked. Zach didn’t answer as he trudged to his room, locking the door behind him. He buried himself, fully dressed, under the comforter and sheets of his bed, allowing himself to feel the prominent ache in his chest. He imagined this is what it would feel like if someone ripped your heart out—a gaping hole with surrounding tissue screaming in protest, until the world went dark and life ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Disney...what can I say? Hold on, the next part—you won't want to miss the next installment of this series. Trust me.


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